My first days in Seoul and a boy named Honey

How many days in a row can I wake up before 4:30 A.M.? I really don't care to set a personal record. I would much prefer sleeping another three hours, but the decision is not really mine to make. I have made some good pre-dawn friends: the man who collects the recycling (who insists on throwing every glass bottle into his truck individually, in 15 second intervals), NPR's Most Emailed Stories of the Day podcast and the sound of rain on my fiberglass awning outside my bedroom. All have become welcome in the time before the rest of the city wakes up.

My apartment is a 14 minute walk from the school where I work, Lingua Teen Kids. The school employs three foreign teachers, Sara, Nate and myself. Sara is British and fresh to Seoul, Nate is Floridian and has lived here for two years. We teach kindergarten kids from 9:45 until 3:00 and elementary school kids from 3:00 until 6:00.

First, let us dispel with the idea that Asia is producing a race of super-geniuses who embarrass America's education system... at least at my school. And that reflects nothing on myself or my fellow teachers. These kids are just as hyperactive and attention deficit as any American, but are even more distracted by the complete immersion of distracting technology. On subways, one quarter of the people around me are watching TV on their cellphones or playing video games or some other awesome thing that I can't comprehend because it all takes place in Korean and this translates directly to the children.

The kids are just fine. Most of them I enjoy and only a handful I would consider locking in a closet for any period of time. The day consists of reviewing letters of the alphabet, reading books, singing songs and coloring pictures. Soon I will start teaching math and science so it will get even better. The older kids, who arrive at 3:00, have already had an entire day of Korean school, and are rarely in the mood to spend more time learning English. Some of these kids I loathe. They yell at me in Korean. They yell at each other in Korean. They play with their strange new superhero/pog/card games and don't listen to a damn word I say. I need to find a better way to teach them and it will come with time. Right now they don't respect me and I just want to drink Soju through their entire class.

The kindergarten kids are (mostly) adorable. They call me Evanteacher and hang on my arms like leaches. Many of them have started calling all the foreign teachers at the same time, using their hands to indicate the increasing height we have... Sarateacher (hands at their ankles) Nateteacher (hands at their waist) and Evanteacher (hands as high as they can reach).

All the kids have English names. Ryan, Alex, Sophia, etc... I don't know where they get these names, whether the school chooses them or the parents do, but they have an English name their entire life. I believe they can change it if they want in the future. Some of them are strange. One girl is named Beronica... a literal translation of the Korean tendency to implode the "v" sound. Another boy is named Honey. Yes, Honey. He reminds me of Flower from Bambi. He also has the strange tendency to surprise me with kisses wherever I am. I will be writing on the dry erase board and I will turn around and he will grab my arm and start giving me kisses on my wrist. Or I will be standing in the hallway and he will come up and start kissing my leg. They are the most kind and tender kisses I have ever had, but they are strange nonetheless.

Every day has gotten better, so I still look forward to work every morning. We will see how long that lasts.